Saturday, December 6, 2014


I think I am lost.

Lost somewhere. I need motivation. I need some excitedness, flavor in my life.

I am fine. Yes still here, still exist, still healing, still breathing.

But I've lost something. 

How can I recharged my depleted motivation?

I need something, something to push myself. I couldn't find it.

Don't follow me, I am lost; too. 

xx aR

Friday, October 10, 2014

Sneak Peek, peek a boo boooo :)

Gonna blog about this soon!

For the time being, in 2 more weeks.. Mabuhay! *excited*

Aside from that;

I received a few e-mails regarding my braces. If you wish to know more, don't hesitate to mail me as I don't really on blog nowadays! 

But I check my e-mail everyday! I'll reply faster than the comments here! (:

Monday, August 18, 2014


So yeah Dr Prem said I am recovering way faster that what he'd expected ��

I am being assertive, which is good according to him. Some people they can't handle the rebound effect. 

Me? I hope so 

Well I can't tell much about it but maybe soon. When I decided to 'come clean' about it. Hopefully it would become an inspiration to everyone who is in the same condition like me.

Well gtg. Loves xx

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Braces again and again!

Hi all, I received quite a lot of questions about my braces (FYI, I've been wearing braces since 2012)

I didn't know many of you would ask me questions about braces. I wouldn't reply your comments straight away as for now, because I didn't check my blog regularly as I used to..

But if you do have questions, do not hesitate to e-mail me at if you need help/advices regarding braces in KK.

I am very glad to help you! Please, don't hesitate to ask! :)



Thursday, June 19, 2014


Been away for a few months.. I have tons of pictures waiting to be uploaded, maybe tmr..

Life's hard, ever since my other half passed away, my life was so terrible. 

I live in pain, every moment.. Every time.. Everything reminds me of him..

But I know, he wouldn't want to see me like this, therapies and remedies helped me a lot. And supports from my family, his family and my friends.. Couldn't imagine my world without them. 

So far I'm okay, I hope so.. :) 

God bless you sweetheart F.A.N .. I love you so much, I miss you.. Rest in Peace. 

Saturday, May 3, 2014

I'll be missing you..

Words can't express what you mean to me..

I miss you sweetheart.. :') 

Tuesday, April 8, 2014


Bought these last night. I wandered around the mall alone , went to a spa for a relaxing massage alone.

Yet, I feel empty.. My heart is empty.. It used to have abundance of love, joy and happiness.. Filled in by the love of my life..

He's my life.. Do you know how it feels like when your life is being taken away from you?

It hurts.. It hurts so bad, there were times where I feel my chest is being pulled from outside. I couldn't breath properly.. I punch my own chest, hoping that the pain would go away.. But it doesn't.. 

I feel sad, yet.. I don't know how to express it.. Scream? Cry? What would you do when your inner pain has affect you physically? 

Sometimes.. I asked God.. 

"You've witnessed me, crying in pain because of someone before him. When he came into my life.. I feel so thankful, I couldn't ask for more. But why, after 3 years of wonderful years with him.. You took him away from me?"

I know God has a better explanation for that. Maybe not now, maybe later..

Maybe God knows he'd suffered way too much over the past 3 months. When I saw him crying in pain, screaming, punching his own neck in front of my eyes. I feel sad, helpless.. I cried.. Because there's nothing I could do to help him to ease the pain.. Sometimes I wish if I could share his pain, at least he wouldn't suffer so much, but I can't. I don't have a power to transfer his pain to me.. I wish I have it ��

There were times where I'd speak to myself, as if he's in front of me.

But no,  he doesn't. In fact, I will only see him in my dreams.. 

The hardest part is waking up in the morning.. Last time, I'd wake up to his txt or phone calls.. Then, looking at the place where he used to sleep comfortably.. At the kitchen where we used to cook together, eat together.. Laugh together.. Looking at the place where he'd sit while waiting for me to come home from office..

But now, everything has changed. Changed forever, eternity.

Until now.. I'm still trying to accept the fact that.. 

Death totally do us part.. 

I miss him so much.. I really do..


I love you Darling. Please pray for me from Up there.