Tuesday, April 8, 2014


Bought these last night. I wandered around the mall alone , went to a spa for a relaxing massage alone.

Yet, I feel empty.. My heart is empty.. It used to have abundance of love, joy and happiness.. Filled in by the love of my life..

He's my life.. Do you know how it feels like when your life is being taken away from you?

It hurts.. It hurts so bad, there were times where I feel my chest is being pulled from outside. I couldn't breath properly.. I punch my own chest, hoping that the pain would go away.. But it doesn't.. 

I feel sad, yet.. I don't know how to express it.. Scream? Cry? What would you do when your inner pain has affect you physically? 

Sometimes.. I asked God.. 

"You've witnessed me, crying in pain because of someone before him. When he came into my life.. I feel so thankful, I couldn't ask for more. But why, after 3 years of wonderful years with him.. You took him away from me?"

I know God has a better explanation for that. Maybe not now, maybe later..

Maybe God knows he'd suffered way too much over the past 3 months. When I saw him crying in pain, screaming, punching his own neck in front of my eyes. I feel sad, helpless.. I cried.. Because there's nothing I could do to help him to ease the pain.. Sometimes I wish if I could share his pain, at least he wouldn't suffer so much, but I can't. I don't have a power to transfer his pain to me.. I wish I have it ��

There were times where I'd speak to myself, as if he's in front of me.

But no,  he doesn't. In fact, I will only see him in my dreams.. 

The hardest part is waking up in the morning.. Last time, I'd wake up to his txt or phone calls.. Then, looking at the place where he used to sleep comfortably.. At the kitchen where we used to cook together, eat together.. Laugh together.. Looking at the place where he'd sit while waiting for me to come home from office..

But now, everything has changed. Changed forever, eternity.

Until now.. I'm still trying to accept the fact that.. 

Death totally do us part.. 

I miss him so much.. I really do..


I love you Darling. Please pray for me from Up there. 

Sunday, February 16, 2014


Still here,

Still "alive"


Saturday, October 26, 2013

Hello :x

I've been missing again haha I know and I'm sorry!

I received quite a lot of feedbacks / comments regarding my braces, a lot of questions somemore.

Don't worry! I'm still here, still reading your comments! Will reply them soon. Anyway I just extracted another one of my pre-molar tooth 2 weeks ago. This wasn't in my braces plan before but Dr. Pamela suggested to me so that it would reduce the time to close my teeth gap.

Hopefully that would be the very last one! I don't want to lose any of my tooth anymore. Makin kurang gigi suda ni ging hahaha

Well gtg. Good night everyoneeeee


Monday, September 2, 2013

Mount Kinabalu 2nd Trip

Sorry for my long hiatus! I really.. really want to update my blog but recently I've been busy with my yoga practice, new work place, house renovation.. and many more!

So many things to do yet so little time.


Let me summarize everything here in short notes!

- Hmm this time, it took approximately 3 hours and 50 minutes from Timpohon Gate to Laban Rata. We started around 8.40AM and boyfriend and I reached Laban Rata at 12.30PM. And we were the 2nd team to arrive among our group. The fastest in our group was 10 minutes earlier than us and she's a lady! 

- Boyfriend and I vowed not to stop climbing before we reach the Mesilau Trail, just after Layang-Layang Hut. I almost give up but he kept pushing me to walk and walk and walk.. Haha!

- This time, no rain, no storm and the weather was so perfect! THANK GOD!

- We managed to reach the peak 10 minutes before 6PM (if I'm not mistaken) and the view.. OH MY GOSH! Awesome!

- I was too excited to take pictures when I reached at the Peak, I lost my hand glove! Turns out it was in my bag when I unpacked all my stuffs at home.

- Foods are yummy and superb at Laban Rata, don't worry!

- Climbing down the stairs not fun after a climb up of Mount Kinabalu. I cried because I feel insanely painful on the edge of my toenails. NOT FUN!

- My feet were swollen after the trip, doctor said it was normal for people who just went for climbing trips.

- Looking forward to conquer Mount Kinabalu again, maybe next year! *keep fingers crossed* 

Now.. pictures time!! :)

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Mount Kinabalu & Indonesia trip sneak peek photos!

Hi, just got back home from Indonesia 3 days ago. I'm still trying to 'fit in' into my reality life after a long holiday, works, diets, yoga, work outs and etc. Fuh

Anyway these are the sneak peek of my photos! 

P.S : My Mount Kinabalu's trip (this was the 2nd one) are ready! This time, I managed to reached the Peak! So happy! Gonna blog about it soon! Indonesia's trip photos are still in editing process :)

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Short Update: Bye bye Yuki!

 Yuki & I

I think I've been bombarding my blog with lots of yoga blog post. Little did I know that some of the poses were actually possible for me to do it after few weeks of practices! It's awesome to know that your body is an amazing 'machine' :)

Anyway, these are the *yogis in our class! We took a group photo with Yuki because this was her last class with us before she goes back to Japan for good after 3 years working in Sabah. Btw, she can speak Malay quite well *I was so , so proud of her since Bahasa Malaysia is the first language in Malaysia :D  

Photo courtesy of Yuki Yanazume

2nd photo; Me on the left doing the wheel pose :D

*Yogi - A practitioner of Yoga

Friday, April 19, 2013

Put your mind at ease!

Playing with my camera after a wonderful zumba practice at home for my new tracks .

Sometimes when I work on night shift, I don't have enough time to go to the gym as they will close at 10PM. So I'll just continue to do some light yoga or practice few zumba songs at home. It helps me to reduce my tiredness after a long haul of looking at books and keeping up with my students' learning progress. 

Don't say you don't have time to workout! 1 hour in a day is better than nothing! :D

 Live.Love.Laugh :)